As I was writing this, I realised how much this idea of invisible growth mirrors my own journey in starting and building a business. There are days when everything feels like it's moving too slowly or not moving at all. But deep down (amidst of the I-don't-know-wtf-I'm-doing), I know I’m laying the foundations for something bigger. Every quiet hour spent brainstorming, every connection I make, every piece of writing like this one is a small step forward in working on the business. And while most of this work happens behind the scenes, I know it's all part of what's taking shape.
So if you’ve been following along, know that there’s something brewing - and I can’t wait to share more when it officially launches soon.
Have you ever felt stuck in place? That strange time in life where no matter what you do, you don't seem to be growing? If you're going through midlife or big life changes, you might know this feeling well - the worry that while everything around you keeps changing, you've somehow stopped moving forward.
As we move into the last month of early 2025, with Mercury retrograde finally over and spring on its way, I've been thinking deeply about this feeling. What I've found might bring you some comfort: we often grow the most when we don't feel like we're growing at all.
There's a story about a special bamboo from China called Moso bamboo that perfectly shows this truth. For four years after planting, this bamboo shows no growth above ground. A farmer must water and care for it every day without seeing any results.
Then, in the fifth year, something amazing happens. The bamboo suddenly grows 80 feet tall in just six weeks.
Was the bamboo doing nothing for those first four years? Not at all. It was building a strong root system underground that would later support its rapid upward growth. The most important work was happening below the surface, where no one could see it.
The Middle Years: When Life Seems to Pause
Last week, a friend shared something that stuck with me. Over conversation, they confessed that they felt their past year had been a complete "write-off." With frustration, they explained how they couldn't point to any significant achievements or milestones and how they couldn't even bring themselves to think about it too deeply.
"Nothing to show for an entire year of my life."
Their words hit home because I've felt this way so many times particularly during birthdays and at year's end. Those moments when time prompts us to take stock, and we find ourselves coming up empty-handed against our own expectations.
I remember one birthday when someone asked what I'd accomplished that year. My mind went blank. Inside, I felt a deep sense of failure. Here I was, halfway through life, and I couldn't even articulate what I'd done with my time.
What I couldn't see then and what my friend couldn't see about their "write-off" year, what many of us miss during these seemingly fallow periods - is that these apparent standstills are often when our deepest growth is happening.
"The seed must die to give birth to the plant," wrote Paulo Coelho,.
It captures a simple truth about change and the cycles of life. The caterpillar doesn't just grow wings, it completely dissolves inside its cocoon before becoming a butterfly.
And I think in midlife especially, we go through something similar. The beliefs, identities, and patterns that once made sense start to dissolve. Not because we’ve failed, but because we’re evolving. And sometimes that evolution is quiet and unremarkable but it doesn't make it any less profound.
I will say that it can be uncomfortable as hell.
We reach a point where our old ways of thinking no longer fit, but we haven’t quite figured out what’s next. And in that in-between space, it can feel like nothing is happening but really, everything is happening.
If you’re in a phase where it feels like nothing is changing, look for these quiet clues that you’re actually evolving:
When ideas you've held for years suddenly don't seem to make as much sense. This confusion, while uncomfortable, shows your understanding is growing beyond old limits.
Your dreams becoming more vivid or strange can show that your deeper mind is working through new ideas or views. It's not uncommon to experience unusual dreams during times that later prove to be turning points.
Finding yourself less upset by things that used to bother you, or having new feelings about familiar situations. These shifts often show that your mind is rewiring itself in ways you can't yet see.
Sudden insights about past situations or relationships that you hadn't fully understood before. These "aha moments" often come during quiet times, when your mind has space to see old patterns in new ways.
A building feeling that parts of your life that once felt good enough no longer fit with some deeper, emerging truth. This discomfort, though challenging, often comes before important positive changes.
Noticing shifts in what matters to you, perhaps caring less about achievement and more about meaning, less about getting things and more about experiences, or less about others' approval and more about inner peace. These value shifts are especially common during midlife.
I think what can easily be interpreted as "write-off" years are actually quiet foundational years for breakthroughs we can't yet imagine. The times when we feel stuck or stopped are often when the deepest work is happening without our awareness.
I like to think that's when we're processing lessons, building strengths, and preparing for what's next.
An integration of sorts is occurring.
Rather than fighting these quiet periods or beat yourself up, try these approaches:
In today's world, we're taught to value visible progress and clear results. We mark our journeys through climbing ladders, material accummulation, and achievements others can see.
And that's totally okay.
But on some level, these measure markers make the invisible growth periods especially hard because we have no outside proof that anything worthwhile is happening.
We look externally for visible feedback on our personal growths.
Yet some of the most important growth happens in these hidden spaces. The Chinese bamboo parable teaches us that what looks like being stagnant or stuck might actually be preparing for amazing growth. The key is learning to trust the process, especially when we can't see the results.
Here's what I'd like to leave you with.
Remember that sometimes the most important growth isn't in what we gain, but in what we're willing to sit with when nothing seems to be happening at all. The seeming standstills of life might be exactly where your most important transformation is quietly unfolding.
What apparent stuck points in your life might actually be preparation for your next breakthrough? What roots might you be growing right now that will later support remarkable heights?
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